Faith

Non - knitting post alert, step away from the computer if easily offended by yarn-free ramblings.

So, faith. By this i'm refering to the faith in a higher power so to speak, God if you will. We could spend forever defining what faith means to different people, what you believe in, what you don't etc, and even defining what my faith means to me is no mean feat.

Since having the boys i've becoming increasingly interested in exploring my faith a bit more, when we moved we started attending a wonderful church, really family orientated, young congregation, exactly the sort of community of faith i'd like the boys to grow up in if you see what I mean. We attended a few churches before settling, that sounds like we were shopping for a house doesn't it, but honestly, feeling like you've come home is really important to me, and at least one of the churches we attended didn't feel like that. This particular one sticks in my mind because it was openly homophobic in it's service. Now i'm not niaive, I know the churches stance on certain things, but i'd like to think that they are becoming more tolerant and not preaching hate in sermons. Tolerance is the key, so many people think religion is the cause of all evil in the world which isn't strictly true, people are the cause of evil, that they choose to do their evil in the name of organised religion is, well crap really. It's important to me that the boys growing up being tolerant of others, be that other faiths, sexualities, life choices, whatever.

For me, faith and religion isn't about knowing your scriptures inside and out, it's about being a good person and knowing that ultimately you have nothing to fear. I know you could do all that without being religious, but I think i'm just someone that likes the idea that there's a point to all this, that God is watching out for us, it's comforting i suppose.

I'm not doing a very good job of explaining it, maybe faith is a hard thing to explain. It's something i've been thinking about a lot lately, most of you will know at least one of the reasons why that is. Another reason is that a friend from a parenting forum I go on very recently lost her baby son. She posted a beautiful poem on the forum yesterday, it's a lot to ask that she found some comfort from it, how do you gain any comfort following such a loss, but I hope she did.

God’s Lent Boy

I’ll lend you for a little while a child of mine, God said,
For you to love the while he lives, and mourn for when he’s dead.
It may be six or seven years, or forty two or three,
But will you, ‘til I call him back, take care of him for me?
He’ll bring his charms to gladden you. And should his stay be brief,
You’ll always have your memories as solace in your grief.
I cannot promise he will stay, since all from earth return,
But there are lessons taught below I want this child to learn.

I’ve looked this whole world over in my search for teachers true,
And from the folk that crowd life’s lane, I have chosen you.
Now will you give him all your love and not think the labour vain,
Nor hate me when I come to take this lent child back again.
I fancy that I heard them say, ‘Dear God Thy will be done’,
For all the joys this child will bring, the risk of grief we’ll run.
We will shelter him with tenderness, we’ll love him while we may,
And for all the happiness we’ve ever known, we’ll ever grateful stay.
But should the angels call him much sooner than we’d planned,
We will brace the bitter grief that comes and try to understand.

At the moment it's faith that's helping me stay positive that the other thing will turn out ok, it's going to be a long slog.